Archive for May, 2011
Delegate Effectively,Shift Their Mood First
May, 2011
Delegate Effectively, Shift Their Mood First
When you delegate effectively the person you delegate to is both willing and able to take on your task.
Being able to shift someone else’s mood up a notch is a useful life skill and is especially useful for leaders and influencers. Being able to shift others moods is a core part of Emotional Intelligence.
When others are in a more receptive mood to you then your requests are more likely to be actioned, you will be more influential and you will have better easier relationships than if you are using your authority or perceived position or power alone. In other words as an effective leader you need to be able to shift moods before you can delegate.
For example Imagine the scenario that you are walking into a room (office space) and you are about to delegate a task to a staff member, let’s call him Ed. The task is important and you know you need it done, but you can see clearly that Ed is not having a good day. His head is down shoulders slumped forward his chest is heaving from the deep sighs; indeed you can hear them from the doorway a few metres away. What do you do?
Let’s say you go ahead with your plan to delegate to him. You jolly Ed along with a loud overly cheerful voice and tell him to snap to of whatever is bothering him, knowing for sure that’s all it take to get him cheerful. Then you land your extra job in his lap and get out of the room as fast as you can breathing a sigh of relief that you didn’t get infected with his low mood and energy and that you “delegated” successfully….
You have delegate d the task to Ed so you move on to the next item on your agenda for the day safe in the knowledge that Ed will do as you asked.
What do you think are the chances that Ed has put your task anywhere on his “must be done with enthusiasm” list? Probably pretty low I would say.
If Ed gets to your task it will most likely be with resentment at being burdened with yet another job – when anyone can clearly see how busy, overloaded and unappreciated he is……you can add you own script here.
How you handle others emotions requires a short trip in the land of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for background.
CBT works on the basis of understanding that our minds i.e. our thinking, our body posture i.e. our actions and our emotions are linked together. When one shifts the other two shift without much resistance. Of the three, mind emotions and body the easiest to move into a different position is our body.
So lets go back to our story with Ed. If his body is slumped it is highly likely that his emotions and his thinking are slumped as well. You can try facilitate a shift his thinking with a “snap out of it, you’ll be fine” approach. Or you can be more subtle and shift his body.
What to do BEFORE you Delegate
Let’s look at some practical applications with Ed again.
Option 1. Discretion as the Better Part of Valour: You walk in see Ed slumped, and Ed doesn’t see you. At this point you could give him time to work through the issues he is pondering for himself if your task is not urgent. So you wait until later when his mood is more receptive before you delegate to him.
Most people will shift out of a mood by themselves, unless they have a clinical issue.
Option 2. Get Moving: You walk in and see Ed slumped and decide to keep going with your intention to delegate to him; after all the task is urgent.
You know that the easiest thing to do to shift Ed’s low mood is for Ed to usefully move his body. BUT ordering Ed to sit up straight will get a predictable answer, nor is moving his body for him an option unless you want a formal complaint lodged against you.
You can however empathise with Ed about his low state then ask him to come down the hall to the kitchen for a cup of tea/ coffee / water etc, and chat on the way about something unrelated to his slump.
In this case you are empathising, not sympathising with him. You are getting him to move usefully and you are showing that you care by taking time out to share time with him.
Given that appreciation and care are core human needs you are giving Ed a huge emotional lift by this simple act.
Keeping conversation light and easy also gives him the opportunity to shift his thinking as well. If he wants to offload some of his cares he may do this, but the chances are that he won’t need to.
E.g. “Hi Ed, you look a bit low, how about taking a break from what you are doing and let’s go for a cup of ….”
In each of the previous options the responsibility for Ed’s mood sits with Ed.
You are simply facilitating the shift either by giving him space and time, or by giving him a breath of fresh air. When his mood is receptive then you can more easily delegate your task to him.
Some women swear that retail therapy cheers them up. My perspective on this is that the change of environment and thinking about something rather than their problems is doing the healing rather than then act of spending money on new shoes.
These options work when “Ed” is in front of you.
As many of you work remotely and and to be able to delegate remotely from others and either work on the phone or by email, I will give you some insights into shifting moods remotely in another post.
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Posted in Leadership
Get more done with less stress using Myers Briggs
May, 2011
Get more done with less stress using Myers-Briggs® Profile
Much stress is caused at work by differing approaches to getting things done.
Some people seem to do nothing until a last minute coffee fuelled rush. Others seem to have lists, organisers & calendars and move seemingly effortlessly through their days ticking lists off as they go.
Such polar opposite approaches can create disharmony (Conflict) at work where a little understanding could create wonderful harmony.
Let me explain.
Some people like to take things slowly keep their options open and get decisions made at the last possible minute. (Perceivers or P’s)
Others want detailed plans diarised and ticked off as they go, seeing the development of their project, grow over time. (Judgers or J’s)
Where an organised person (J) will want to plan & know procedures, processes, how’s, when’s, where’s and will make sure that all Is are dotted and Ts are crossed; an evolving person (P) will let things happen – keeping his options open and allow life and his projects to unfold until the last possible minute.
There is a real hard wired and physiological difference between the Perceiver (P) and the Judger (J) in their approaches to getting things done.
J’s will start their project / task at time zero and will have an slight adrenalin lift which sustains them through to completion on, or before, the set deadline. Thus their visible effort will match their adrenalin levels and steady state activity follows.
P’s on the other hard will get an adrenalin surge at the start of a project accompanied by a rush of activity. When they realise that the project /task is not due until 3 days/weeks/months/years away there is an associated drop in adrenalin with an associated and highly visible drop in activity level. They relax & chill out.
No rush.
Put off till tomorrow what does not need to be done today.
At the last possible minute our Pressure Prompted P gets an ‘oh gosh’ moment.
He has a massive surge in adrenalin; followed by a rush of creativity and a very highly visible burst of activity; perhaps with an overnight dash to the finish line giving delivery/completion on, or around, the set deadline.
Where there is no deadline at all our Pressure Prompted P does not get an adrenaline burst so the activity simply does not get done.
Both J’s and P’s can schedule and plan. Both can create Gantt charts and work to them. It is simply that J’s schedule their plan from time zero and plan forward; while P’s schedule thier plan from the delivery deadline and plan backward to the absolute latest they have to start to get the task finished on time.
The challenge comes when they underestimate the amount of time needed to complete the task.
If you are an organised “Early Starting J” and work with a “Pressure Prompted P” then you are probably seething in frustration at the seemingly never ending fire-fighting stress-based rollercoaster. “Why can’t they just start earlier?”
Why can’t they delegate more to me earlier so that I don’t have to rush?
If you are a “Pressure Prompted P” it is highly likely that you are tired of being micromanaged by Early Starting J’s who don’t trust you to deliver on time with your usual genius just like you always do (well mostly).
What does all this mean? Information is not useful unless you apply it.
Early Starting organised J’s if you want to get things done by your Pressure Prompted P colleagues on time and with your stress levels intact – The Secret is…
LIE to them.
Yes Lie!
Tell them a false early deadline.
Better still – break your project into smaller tasks with lots of mini deadlines along the way to the real, completion. They will still get an adrenalin surge and you get to know that your project is being delivered without undue stress.
Pressure Prompted P’s; if you are tired of being micro managed, tell your J colleges what you are doing and why they can’t see your visible output. Show them your plan (please write it down first – Js’ like to see things written down!) Show them when you plan to start & finish.
Reassure them and if that doesn’t work to appease them then agree an earlier deadline. Over time, when you regularly deliver they will begin to trust you more.
But you will have to train them to relax with your way of getting things done.
Liz Cassidy, founder of Third Sigma International is a Brisbane based writer, Speaker and Executive Coach. Third Sigma International is a Brisbane based Executive Coaching and Corporate Training business specialising in Effective Communication Skills and Leadership Development. Myers-Briggs® Personality Tests are used in some workshops.
Posted in Leadership, Uncategorized