Archive for April, 2011

Leaders Tell a Story

April, 2011

Leaders Tell a Story

In the last week I have worked with 2 different people who are struggling to get their message across. They each have an idea and are being blocked by another persons’ apparent stubbornness.

In each case when they analysed what was happening they discovered that the other person was not in fact being stubborn, but they were reacting emotionally to an inexpertly delivered message.

What to do if you are being blocked.

Anyone in work needs to be able to influence others. But if you are speaking the wrong language then it doesn’t really matter how good your idea is they won’t be able to understand you.

One language mis match is Originality (new idea) vs. Tradition and known (experience)
If you have a new idea and you are trying to influence someone who has a preference for the traditional and the way we have always done it, then try couching your idea in a story or in an anecdote of how it has worked somewhere else.

For example; Richard wants to solve a problem by modifying a piece of equipment at a worksite to make it portable. His boss is worried that making it portable will also make it easy for staff to “borrow” and take it home on weekends so that it might just disappear or not be available when needed. This is a very useful piece of equipment for the home handy man. His boss has had experience elsewhere of what can go wrong with portable equipment.

Richard wants to try a new idea and no amount of shouting, arm waving or bluster will change his bosses mind.

However a new experience will.

Richard is now bringing his boss to another business which has portable equipment and also has effective controls around staff “borrowing” the equipment so that it does not disappear. He is giving his boss a new experience to draw upon.

I love using stories when I coach as stories give my clients a new experience to draw on and this allows then to easily see a new way to solve a problem.
Fairy tales are a powerful way that we do the same thing for children,
e.g. If you lie your nose will grow longer (Pinocchio)
If you make up stories and sensationalise then the wolf will get you (The boy who cried wolf)
See the inner beauty of other people (Beauty and the Beast)

So if you are struggling to get your message across because someone has an unfortunate past experience then tell them a story or give them a new and more useful experience.

Now, what can we do about Cinderella…?

Posted in Leadership

Are You Using the “Right” Leadership Style?

April, 2011

Are You Using the “Right” Leadership Style?

Last week I was coaching with a highly focussed and talented leader. He asked me if he was using the “right” leadership style.

What a great question!

The conversation proceeded and we worked through what was appropriate to his goals, his personality, his long term outcomes and the situation at hand.
Do you have a leadership style? Or do you stumble blindly through each day hoping not to make too many mistakes?

Have you thought through clearly how you want to lead?

Do you adapt your style for different people and different situations or do you adopt a one size fits all?

The Situational Leadership Model of Blanchard takes into account adapting our leadership style for the person we are leading and the task at hand. However leadership style is much greater than this.

The overall needs of the situation, our values and our desired legacy must also play a part in the style we adopt.

Recently in Queensland we have gone through a series of natural disasters, out of which the comments have been that our Premier Anna Bligh was an “inspiration”, “awesome”, “a great leader” and so on. The effusive praise is well deserved in my view. She led us through floods and cyclone with apparent ease. She had a central command team; she was transparent in her communications. She was consistent and she acknowledged the difficulties whilst giving a message of hope that we will prevail along the lines of “our hearts may break but our spirits will not”.
Like Winston Churchill before her, Ms Bligh is a great leader in a crisis.

Her style perfectly matched the situation. Before the crises she was generally disliked and had little respect from the public at large.
In the good times her style did not match the need for forward action, visionary thinking and consultative leadership. She was a one woman show, her word was law.

Similarly during the GFC at a federal level our Prime Minister had a “kitchen cabinet” with 4 decision makers included. This was perfect for the crisis situation. All decisions were centralised and the larger government cabinet was rarely consulted. However coming out of the crisis, the kitchen cabinet continued – as did the lack of consultation, during a time when real creativity and inclusion were needed.
This in part led to Kevin Rudd’s leadership loss.

Both examples I have used here are current political examples of leadership.

My business clients’ question brought to mind other Executive Coaching conversations over the last 2 years where there has been a mis-match between the style adopted at the time and the style needed by the organisation and the team in particular.

Each of you reading this article is a leader. Either you have the title and responsibility of a leader of a Team; a Business; a Family or, you are a leader through influence.

Outside of the Blanchard Situational Leadership model, I ask you to examine your leadership style. Are you creating the results you want? If so, congratulations.

If not,
Do you need to take into account the changed circumstances and your desired goals?
Do you need to be more inclusive to create energy and incorporate others ideas? Or
Do you need to be less inclusive and more “command and control” to get through a short term crises?
Do you need to be more inspirational, selling a medium or long term vision, or
Do you need to be more uplifting to raise morale for a short term goal?

You have your own Leadership Style, are you adaptable and flexible within your style or are you stuck and rigid?

How will you know? That is the simple part, just look at the results you are creating and what kind of feedback you get from your staff peers and Manager.

If your answer is that you are indeed stuck and rigid as a leader then perhaps you need to re-examine your style.

Posted in Leadership

If you think you can or you think you can’t – you are right

April, 2011

If you think you can or you think you can’t – you are right

Have you ever set a goal, or had one set for you, and you really believed deep down that you couldn’t do it? What happened? You were right weren’t you?

Conversely have you ever had a goal where you knew for sure that this was a piece of cake? Yes, and you were right again, weren’t you?

Each News Year some of you will set “Resolutions” that you will;

improve business revenue,
have a better sales quarter,
cut costs;
spend more time with staff and less on paperwork;
go to the gym,
lose weight,
stop smoking; drink more (water) and so on….

You might even write down your goals, type them up, make spreadsheets, print them in colour, and put them on your bathroom mirror.

You might be one of the percentage that came to the conclusion; that New Years Resolutions (like affirmations) don’t work – so why bother? After all haven’t you got enough proof that New Years Resolutions and Goal Setting doesn’t work?

For a tiny percentage, New Year’s Resolutions are just not necessary because you already have your vision of where you are headed and you have a plan in place to get there. You regularly review and update progress, you have structures in place to hold yourself accountable, and you are measuring your progress.

So what is that that makes the difference between those who set the same old tried New Year’s Resolutions and those who have a clear Long Term view?

Belief – If you believe you can, or believe you can’t you’re right” Often misquoted and so true.

With all the experience, skills and knowledge you now have, could you go back and achieve the first goal? Probably.

With the benefit of 20:20 hindsight what was the difference?

Your beliefs about yourself.

Posted in Leadership

What You Need to Do to Avoid Mediocrity in Leadership

April, 2011

What You Need to Do to Avoid Mediocrity in Leadership

We have just endured a tedious few weeks of electioneering to face the near future of a mediocre government here in Australia.

Again – I am apolitical in my articles. However I am a passionately keen student of leaders and leadership behaviours.

Last year when I predicted on ABC Radio that Tony Abbott would be the next leader of the Liberal Party I listed 3 basic elements a leader MUST have. At that time my view was that of all the contenders available Tony Abbott was the only one who showed these 3 elements.

Obviously there are many many more elements to being a great leader. These are the 3 basics, in my observations.

Both party leaders in this election – Julia Gillard and Tony Abbott – have ignored these 3 basic Leadership elements resulting in the potential of a hung parliament in Australia.

The First Thing You Need to Do to Avoid in Mediocrity in Leadership – Have a Vision.

If you don’t know where you are going – how can you expect anyone to follow you?

A couple of years ago, I spoke at a Women in Government conference in Sydney. I asked for a show of hands from the audience on who know what the incoming American President stood for – I got a chorus in reply. On the other side of the planet these women knew what Obamas vision was. I then asked what the new Australian Prime Minister (Kevin Rudd) had as a vision, there were some murmurings and mutterings, a few could tell me. So I asked what the outgoing Prime Minsters vision was (John Howard) only one hand went up in the whole crowded room of Public Sector employees.

The hand belonged to a Liberal Senator.
No one else knew the Vision of the defeated leader.

The same lesson applies in the recent election. We are in a vision vacuum.

As leaders of ourselves, our families, and in organisations the lesson is clear. Have a vision for the future and people will follow you.
What is your vision?
To avoid mediocrity in leadership have a clear vision of where you’re going.

The Second Thing You Need to Do to Avoid Mediocrity in Leadership – Know & State What You Stand For.

Just as your vision is where you are heading. What you stand for is how you are going to get there.
In other words what are your values?

When you can stand in front of the mirror and look that person in the mirror in the eye then clearly state what you stand for – you are immediately taking a leadership role.
You are leading You!

When you stand in public, in front of your peers or reports and make the same statement with truth and integrity then you begin to have people follow you.

If perchance you state what you stand for without truth or integrity then you will certainly get a following in the short term.
Our former Prime Minister said, “the greatest moral challenge facing this country is climate change” before he changed his mind. You can fool some of the people …

In this recent election all we saw was sniping and criticism from the two major parties and the two party leaders. There was a dearth of what either truly stood for.
We saw a lot of clichés and no substance.

To avoid mediocrity – Know and State what you stand for as a person and as a leader.

The Third Thing You Need to Do to Avoid Mediocrity in Leadership – Be Clear and Consistent in Your Message.

Taking a side example, I have (some) memories of being a teenage passenger in a Ford Escort with 6 others going nightclubbing in Ireland in the 1980’s. We had a bottle of vodka, a bottle of coke and enough glassware to get all of us warmed up for the evening. I am hazier on the journeys home at the end of the evenings.

Today I wouldn’t dream of being an overcrowded car or with a drunk driver or with no seatbelts. Why?
Apart from a heightened sense of my own mortality and the maturity which is the upside of age. There has been a clear and consistent message down the years that if you drink and drive you are an idiot.
Over time that clear simple and constant message has resonated with generations of drivers and behaviours have subsequently changed. Outstanding leadership in the area of safe driving has created a following of safe drivers.

By contrast the recent elections were full of attack messages. One leader briefly ran a “moving forward” slogan but dropped it after being made fun of.
Apart from that short-lived foray there was no clear and consistent message of what either leader or either party stood for or what their vision was. They were too busy attacking each other.

Our cup overflows with mediocrity as a result.

As a personal, family or business leader when you consistently and repeatedly state what your vision is – where you are going, and what you stand for -what your values are – then I can guarantee you will be mocked and made fun of.

This is great news.

If you are being made fun of – don’t quit. Being mocked is a sign that your message is beginning to filter through the multitude of other messages that we are being bombarded with. Your message is sticking.

So keep going. Unswervingly repeat your vision and your message. Do Not quit.

To avoid mediocrity in leadership repeat a clear and consistent vision of where you are going and what you stand for – beyond the point where you are being made fun of.

Do having these 3 elements in place these mean you will be a good leader? No, of course not.
These mean you get to first base to Be A Leader.

Being effective in your leadership takes other skills outside of this article. However you can’t be effective as a leader if you aren’t in a leadership position first.

Liz Cassidy, founder of Third Sigma in Brisbane specialises in Executive Behavioural Coaching, transforming Problem Managers into Inspirational Leaders.

Posted in Leadership

Recognise Your Limiting Beliefs

April, 2011

Recognise Your Limiting Beliefs

When you have read this months lead article If you think you can or you think you can’t – you are right, then take 5 minutes private time out for the next startlingly simple but powerful exercise.

Look at a simple goal you currently have – Write it down with its due date. Study it.

Now, write down all your beliefs about this one goal in two columns.
List everything you believe which is positive and supportive in the first column and list all the ugly hairy beliefs you have about this goal in the second column. Leave nothing out.
Look back at your behaviours in the last month in respect of this one goal, and delete those beliefs which have not been totally supported by your behaviours.

For example, your goal is to run your first ever marathon in June 2011. You have written that you believe you are getting fit, you believe you are going to do it in less than 4 hours, BUT your Behaviour is that it is 7 months away you have not yet put on your running shoes to train! Put a line through the “getting fit” belief, and put another line through the “under 4 hours” belief. Your behaviours do not support your stated beliefs).

Imagine Big Brother has been observing and recording your behaviours for the last month. Write down a separate list of what Big Brother would interpret your beliefs to be in relation to this goal from his examination of your behaviours.
You can be honest here as you are the only person reading the lists. E.g. in the marathon example, “I believe I am not capable” may be a more true belief.
Compare your lists.

These are your real beliefs as you are living them in relation to this one goal. What are your lists telling you about your beliefs around this particular goal? Are they supportive of achieving the goal or limiting you and holding you back?

This simple exercise is related to just one goal. If you found you only had supportive beliefs and your behaviours backed up what you stated as your beliefs, then congratulations, you are probably well on your way to achieving that goal.

Repeat the exercise for some of the goals you are not achieving and you may uncover a limiting belief holding you back. If this is the case then well done again. You are now one step closer to achieving (or redefining) these goals.

The lesson is that when we believe we can – we will. When we believe we can’t -we won’t.

This lesson applies to you, your colleagues, your staff, and your kids.

As a leader you may be wondering why one staff/team member is struggling to reach a target you set and another is effortlessly exceeding budget, when both appear to have the same skills etc. Limiting beliefs may be a factor.
Whilst performance management is a useful tool, it is also a blunt one. cheap car rental . Share this article with your team as an opening for individual discussions to explore if there are limiting beliefs holding someone back.

The great thing about beliefs is that they are just beliefs.

Beliefs are just thought forms. The most powerful belief we can have is that we control our beliefs. We can change them at will! For those of you who now want to argue that point and tell me that you will go to war for your beliefs. Remember the tooth fairy or Santa Claus (I have just been told in no uncertain terms that Santa Claus does not exist – by both my children).

Those beliefs fell by the wayside with a little new knowledge and a different perspective.

As you look back into your history you will notice many other beliefs that have you left behind with as you acquired personal growth, new knowledge and experience.

The most powerful belief we can have is that we can change our beliefs.

As you re-examine your unfinished goals – look at them in a new light. What limiting beliefs do you have which may have held you back?

Changing limiting beliefs can be as straightforward as speaking them aloud and acknowledging their existence. (Note: best done in privacy)

However for the more complex limiting beliefs Performance Coaching may be useful.
Begin it now – Start shifting limiting beliefs and achieving your goals.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Which comes first – Goal Setting or the Belief that you can achieve your goals?

Posted in Leadership

What You Need to Know About The Art of Leadership Politicians

April, 2011

What You Need to Know About The Art of Leadership Politicians

I have long been a student of great leaders and I invest time in observing how our current crop of business and political leaders are behaving & performing. Interestingly I have noticed parallels in the behaviours of federal politicians with some of my coaching clients.

Late last year I was a guest on the Local ABC radio station to discuss “What Makes a Good Leader” and specifically who would be the next leader of the Federal Liberal Party. Since my expertise is specifically in transforming leaders in the business world, I discussed with Kelly Higgins-Devine what makes a good leader in this context. My subsequent on-air “prediction” that Tony Abbott would be the next likely leader of the Liberal party came true about 3 weeks later.

No don’t panic; this article is NOT a party political broadcast and I am not going to predict who will be the next Prime Minister of Australia.

However, I note that the two major parties Liberals/Nationals and the ALP are spending millions of dollars on advertising.

Their messages are strong, loud and negative.

Each side is intent on pulling the other down as far as possible. Each side is spending millions of dollars to tell half-truths and innuendos about the other. Each party is aiming to undermine the credibility of the other, thus undermining their support and voter base.

Back in the days of woolly mammoths our brains were wired to look for danger to keep us safe and alive. It worked. We, and cockroaches, survived when other species perished. Today in the absence of woolly mammoths, the dangers we fear are more subtle but our safety antennae are still active. So when an authority figure tells us to watch out for a bad guy we listen to protect our own safety.

When someone in authority like a political leader tells us to watch out for those bad people on the other side of politics we listen to protect our own safety. We have a saying that “if something seems too good to be true it probably is”; we tend not to question the opposite that “if something seems too bad to be true…”

Why do they do this to each other? Because it works – in the short term.

Over time we vote for the party that we think is the least worst; the least inept; and the least dishonest. We become cynical and look for half-truths and hidden messages in every news bulletin and political speech. Our politicians are busy pulling each other down as low as possible and don’t seem to realise that they are destroying their own credibility by their actions.

A “Leader Politician” at work can be every bit as undermining and destructive to his “opponents” as in the federal political arena.

There are as number of ways that you can spot a Leader Politician in your organisation in the absence of TV adverts;

You can spot a workplace Politician by his “water cooler gossip”. You know…the lowered voice, the sideways looks and the secretive tones as he “just wanted to let you know that…”. This is usually followed by a titbit that you really did not want to hear, but now that you know it, you cannot help but appreciate being let in on the “secret”.

• Or the denigrating email sent to the leadership team about you is a good hint that you have a Politician in your organisation. (Yes, those emails truly do happen)
• Or you can spot him by the supposed statements of fact attributed to possible and credible causes which tear down someone else’s reputation e.g. “3 people resigned because of Peter…”. The fact is – 3 people resigned. Why did they resign? You don’t know – and neither does your Politician. It may not have been because of Peter, but it sounds plausible. Peters’ reputation has just gone down the pan.

When the Leader Politician gets busy he undermines you and your colleagues. Staff conversation becomes cynical and their expectations of behaviour are lowered. The pleasant working atmosphere you used to take for granted is gone.

The workplace Politician is as dangerous and is just as invisible and as undermining as a white ant colony. He can eat the fabric of your company from the inside.

Why does the workplace Politician behave in such an underhanded way? Because it works – in the short term.

He has a mistaken belief that because others are questioning your output and your performance then his performance will not be questioned. In this he is just like the leaders of the political parties. Fortunately for you and your business, he becomes just as visible in his mud throwing as the leader of a political party – eventually.

That is usually when I get to meet him!

Liz Cassidy, founder of Third Sigma in Brisbane is specialises in Executive Behavioural Coaching, transforming Problem Managers into Inspirational Leaders.

Posted in Leadership

What is your handshake worth?

April, 2011

What is your handshake worth?

My business gives me the opportunity to work with many wonderful people as a client and as a supplier of services.

A few months back however, I found myself doubting. I have been doubting other people and their integrity.

I found myself in the position where I was filtering all my interactions through the polarising lens of a few souring experiences.
In this space and sense of doubting others I had felt unable to create words or metaphors which could possibly be of service to you.
So what changed?

Frankly, Brett Godfrey did.

A big thank you to Brett even though you don’t know me (yet) and you are not a subscriber to this newsletter, a number of your staff are.

Brett Godfrey (CEO of Virgin Blue, and VAustralia) made news headlines because he settled a multi-billion dollar order for aircraft for his airlines with a handshake on the back deck of his home.

He actually made news with this.

Thank you again Brett for that handshake, and all it implies.

For the last 20 years I have been doing business on a handshake. For the last 5 years all my significant client and supplier relationships through TSI have been on a handshake – as I believe it should be.

A handshake on an agreement is a commitment to carrying through, to being a person of integrity.

A handshake says “you can trust me” and more.

Over the last few months 3 (yes only 3) of my commercial relationships “changed their minds” on written or verbal contracts. One of those contracts was a formal signed off tender.
My faith and my belief in the integrity of others has been badly shaken. Not to mention the messing up of my business planning!

I forgot all the other relationships which have been lived and worked in full integrity and filtered the world through these 3. My frailty and humanness continues to catch me unawares!

I looked for and found evidence to back up my new belief.

But as I know deep down, I have written about it, I have taught it, and I have coached using it – when you have core value in place it only takes one data point to change a fixed and limiting belief.

Brett Godfrey and his multi-billion dollar handshake is that data point for me.

My core value of trust is well served and my belief in the integrity of the word of others is back in place.

More importantly since I’m no longer filtering my relationships through the lens of lack of integrity, I can remember the integrity to my wonderful and generous clients, associates and suppliers.
Thank you to you all for your support and for 5 years of relationship based on handshakes.

Though it is tempting, unlike Oscars night I am not going to name individual names. For each of you I have done business with you as individuals first and with the companies you work for second.

After all we shake hands with each other as people. And what else do we need in business but a handshake?

Does your handshake reflect you as a person of integrity?

Posted in Leadership

Make Better Decisions using both Logical Thinkers and Feelers using Myers-Briggs® Assessment

April, 2011

Make Better Decisions using both Logical Thinkers and Feelers using Myers-Briggs^® Assessment

A common cause of frustration in communicating with others is the difference between logical and values-based decision makers.

Logical decision makers (like Mr Spock in the original Star Trek series) need sound reasoning to be the basis of their well thought through decisions. They remain distant from the impact of their decisions and take a helicopter view of the situation. It makes sense to them that each topic and decision is treated as a black box with inputs and outputs. Events create data which is then fed into the black box for the decision making process. It’s logical Captain Kirk!

On the other hand; values or feeling based decision makers (like Oprah) see the feelings, emotions and the people involved in the decision. They want to make sure that their values are taken into account; that what is important is considered and that the impact on people is minimal. They have a close, personal and short term view of a situation. They feel strong empathy with those who may be impacted on by a decision and will take a stand if their values are not respected.

The two extremes characterised by Mr Spock and Oprah are just that – extremes on the thinking-decision making continuum. Most of us can make rational decisions; most of us can make empathetic decisions. When we get stuck or inflexible in only one mode of thinking or decision making then our decisions can be suspect and are open to question.

Recently in Australia a publicly listed manufacturing company made a very public announcement that it had decided to close down all its Australian factories and move its production operations offshore. This is a rational dollars based business decision. They looked at the numbers, the cost of manufacturing vs. the cost to manufacture offshore. A simple logical rational decision was made. On paper the decision is a good one, and long term will probably pay dividends to the shareholders.

The CEO got a massive pay rise – also announced quite publicly.

Unfortunately for that company’s board they missed the values based aspect of their decision making. The cost to the various communities of the job losses; the impact on the buying public of an “Iconic” brand being manufactured offshore. The public outcry and media braying for blood was instantaneous.
The weakness of the decision was exposed like a cancer under a surgeon’s knife.
Sales dropped, market share dropped; the “brand” was damaged.

Strong and robust decisions need to take into account both the data, the logic and the potential people and values impact. Importantly too the communication processes also need to take these aspects into account.

An executive coaching client is looking at closing down part of his business right now. It has been haemorrhaging money every month for a few years. The division to be closed has over 60 employees.
My client knows he has to down-size/right-size and retrench staff. All logical sensible decision making says close down the division. He also knows there are going to be 60 families losing their primary income. In one country town he is a significant employer so he will be impacting on a whole community. He knows all this and is making a mutually logical and values based decision and importantly he is communicating both.
Part of his decision making process looked at the impact on his staff and their communities – so he is actively seeking a buyer for his business who can run it profitably as part of an overall growth strategy for their business. Part of the purchase negotiations is that the new owner interviews all current staff with a view to recruiting as many as possible. He is supporting current staff to into new jobs outside of his industry. He is minimising the impact of the closure on the people as much as he humanely can.

Whether you are writing a will; making a financial plan; buying a house; buying a car; setting up or closing down a business or choosing a school for your children; you can look at the facts and be sensible and logical in your decisions & how you communicate them, or you can look at the impact and the underpinning values in the decision, or you can do both.

Our most robust decisions will involve looking at the logic and making sure that we take into account what is important as well.

Using the Myers-Briggs^® Personality Test shows us which type of thinker/decision maker is our natural preference. This knowledge gives us the awareness to shift and use our less preferred thinking mode when making important decisions so that we look at both sides and make our decisions stronger. When we are not able to shift our thinking the knowledge we have also us to invite someone who is strong in an opposite preference to provide an input and ideas. Again this substitution makes for more flexible and more robust decisions.

Liz Cassidy, founder of Third Sigma International is a writer, Speaker, Facilitator and Executive Coach. Third Sigma International is a Brisbane based Executive Coaching and Corporate Training business specialising in Effective Communication Skills and Leadership Development, Myers-Briggs® Personality Tests are frequently used in workshops.

Posted in Leadership

How to Improve Communications between Big Picture Thinkers and Detail Focusers using Myers-Briggs® type

April, 2011

How to Improve Communications between Big Picture Thinkers and Detail Focusers using Myers-Briggs^® type

I am often asked by clients to assist with a working relationship which has stalled or worse one which has broken down completely.

Occasionally this stalling is as a result of different personalities simply not understanding each other.
A frequent cause is the Big Picture Thinker clashing with a Specific Detail Thinker. Each is a valuable contributor to an organisation and if either is stuck and inflexible in their thinking each becomes incapable of understanding or communicating with the other.

For example; Lisa is a highly competent PA to Geoff, a middle manager in a large organisation. Geoff thinks in pictures, theories and global concepts. He operates his office this way too. There are lots of coloured sticky notes on his whiteboard, beside the mind maps and coloured diagrams. Geoff is “across the big picture” and does not concern himself with the detail. He has competent technical staff that he trusts to do their jobs. He sees his role as being the supplier of vision and direction – he is good at this.

Recently he became so frustrated with Lisa that he asked the HR department to find him a new PA. Lisa was moved sideways without a lot of explanation and her workplace engagement dropped off.

The HR advisor asked me to intervene with Lisa.

After hearing her history I asked Lisa to do a Myers-Briggs® Personality Test for me, before we looked at moving forward and re-engaging her in her work.
Lisa’s pride in her work was obvious as was her frustration with Geoff and the situation she found herself in. Her complete conviction that she had done nothing wrong came across quite clearly.

Lisa is proud of her attention to detail and weaves a narrative of the number of times she has had to correct errors of fact by Geoff – including a number of times he made mistakes – in front of his team. She notes that without her guidance and constant correction of his mistakes he would heave made serious errors of judgement as a leader. Geoff was lucky to have her as his PA!

Her spreadsheet analysis and printouts of key departmental data were usually ignored by Geoff despite the fact that she put numerous hours of her own time into creating them for his benefit. Lisa is a classic Sensate. All her information is fact and sense based. If she can see it, hear it, touch it, smell it or taste it then it is real and has value.
Concepts and vision are not part of Lisa’s language and are foreign to her; Geoff on the other hand is a global Big Picture iNtuitive Thinker and relies on graphics theories and concepts. The details bore him.

They quite literally speak different languages.

Geoff needed to see the executive summary and graphs of departmental performance – he did not want to be inundated with spreadsheets of data. He also needed to be supported by his PA, not corrected in public.

As Lisa and I talked through her preferred data processing and thinking style; and her choice of language she began to understand how she had given Geoff the exact opposite of what he needed.

Whilst it is too late for Lisa to get her old job back she can take what she has learnt and start to notice the language used by her new boss.

• Does he have detailed specific language?
• Does he as for precise facts? Or
• Does he use vague conceptual language?
• Does he ask for summaries and “one-pagers” from his people?
• Does he surround himself with people he can trust to handle the detail so that he can concentrate on the big picture?
• Is he an intuitive thinker who needs her to adapt her style to meet his?

When we can identify the language and preferences of the person we want to communicate or build a relationship with then we have the opportunity to make it easier for them to understand what we are saying by speaking their language.

Sensates (detailed thinkers) can easily provide graphs and summaries backed up with spreadsheets if needed.
iNtuitives can adopt the language of dates; times, how’s and where’s with specifics accompanied by summaries if needed.

With the desire to build a relationship we can change the way we communicate. Usually the other person will recognise our efforts and meet us part way. If you are still unsure about your preferences, then doing a simple Myers-Briggs® Test can assist you.

Liz Cassidy, founder of Third Sigma International is a Brisbane based writer, Speaker, Mentor and Executive Coach. Third Sigma International is a Brisbane based Executive Coaching and Corporate Training business specialising in Communication Skills and Leadership Development. Myers-Briggs® Personality Tests are frequently used in workshops.

Posted in Leadership

how to win back ex gf

April, 2011

how to make up with my ex husbund and
what does it mean when your ex boyfriend tells you i broke up with my girlfriend or
do you think ex girl friends think about him.
get your ex back prayers
how to make your bf want you back in school, ex boyfriend quiz win him back, etc.

How to Improve Communications between Extraverts and Introverts using Myers-Briggs® type

Communicating with Other Personalities can be a fun and rewarding experience or it can be an exercise in frustration and futility creating conflict and havoc.

Using the Myers Briggs Type Indicator® can make communicating with other personal

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ities a lot simpler and creates a map forward out of potential confusion.

The Myers Briggs® personality test uses 4 easy to understand scales creating a 4 letter type.

The first scale concerns where we get our energy; from the outer or “Extra” world or from the inner or “Intro” world. Some people have a preference for Extraversion and some have a preference for Introversion.

Extraverts tend to have a preference for; action, multiples, many, conversation and having lots of things happening. The typical extrovert is at home in a group where there is lots happening. The typical Extravert also has a Do-Think-Do approach.

On the other hand, Introverts tend to prefer; few, quiet, focus, concentration and thinking… The typical Introvert is at home in an intimate peaceful setting. The typical Introvert also has a Think-Do-Think approach.

Thus communicating with Introverts involves giving them space to think; speak and concentrate on their message. When extraverts and introverts work together the possibility exists for an Extravert to crowd or talk over an Introvert without realising what he is doing. This can lead Introverts to be quite annoyed and in some cases fell under valued as people.

Equally when Introverts do not say what they are thinking the Extraverts may be misled into thinking that the introverts are cold and aloof when in fact the Introverts simply do not feel like talking.

During “communicating with different personalities” workshops I frequently get asked by Introverts why the Extraverts are so confident. This question shocks the Extraverts in the room as they are as insecure or as confident in themselves as Introverts. There is no difference in confidence levels between the two types. The introverts in this case assume that the Extraverts propensity to act first and think later is the same as acting with Confidence.

And so the misunderstandings between Extraverts and Introverts are easily explained with some simple conversations.

Do you know your MyersBriggs® Type?

Posted in Leadership

Problem Solving – Solve the Right Problem

April, 2011

Problem Solving – Solve the Right Problem

This article is extracted from my new eBook “Problem Solving Decision Making”.
To explain the importance of identifying the real problem, I will share a personal business story

A number of years go I was a graduate chemical engineer working for one of the worlds largest Oil and Chemical companies, in England. We made lubricating oil additives on the production plant where I was based in my early twenties.
It was an old plant; smelly, rusting and relatively unpleasant to be in (in hindsight).

However the people who worked there knew the plant inside and out, it operated 24/7 with a dedicated team of engineers, operators, and tradespeople focussed on pumping out the tonnes of additives.

Given the age of the plant, there were lots of opportunities to fix things, daily problems to solve and a sense of adventure/dread each Monday morning, “what’s gone wrong this weekend?”

The plant was operating at full capacity and had been for some time. The company had a fairly typical silo management structure, operations and production didn’t mix much with sales /marketing etc. One July in the late 1980’s, sales of a particular additive shot to record levels. Stocks were depleted and it was clear that production capacity was not going to keep up with demand, if this continued.

A clear edict was issued from senior management to the production department – increase capacity FAST!
What followed was classic problem solving; A creative multidisciplinary team was formed, headed by someone who did not know the plant intimately so was not hamstrung by the perceived/known limitations and the way we always do things. The team included boiler makers, process operators, mechanical, electrical and chemical engineers. They asked the hard questions, thought out of the box and brainstormed.

Money was spent on capital equipment and within 3 months capacity had increased by 10%. This was a miracle of creativity and innovation on a plant this old..

The wonderful lesson from all this was not the creativity and problem solving approaches, although those were awesome to learn from and I still use some of the lessons learnt today.

The wonderful lesson was what happened to sales during the three month project.

After peaking in July, sales dived in August to record lows. In September they crept up a little and in October sales volumes were back to normal pre-July levels. The capacity increase was never used!

Hindsight is a wonderful teacher.

No one thought to question WHY July sales were so high. There was a senior management reaction to a single point trend!

The problem was defined solely as “a lack of capacity in production” and was solved beautifully. The gap was closed as requested.

The only thing wrong – was the wrong problem was solved.

Production capacity and stock levels were fine for the market. The July sales figure was an aberration.

Finally, in November the conversation which should have taken place in July happened. The Sales department mentioned that they put the prices up significantly in August. Customers had known for three months that prices were going up, but with 30 day trading terms, the canny customers bought lots of product in July to save themselves money for a few months.

In August the customers did not want product, their warehouses were already full. As their cheaper stock was used up in September and October then they came back and started buying again.

We solved the wrong problem, indeed we solved a problem that didn’t exist.

The most common reason for a poor solution is an incorrectly defined problem.
Not getting data about the problem and mistaking the symptoms for the problem are two common errors.

This takes me to business and our professional lives today.

How often do we solve completely the wrong problem, because we haven’t talked to the right people?
How often do we react to a single point trend?
Who else has answers for us, if only we would have the conversations?
Where are we trying to prove we are so good at being problem solvers and being the “go-to” person that we simply waste time energy and resources?

If you are problem solving then take time out to consider alternative ideas; new data; other explanations, talk to as many people as possible with differing perspectives; get as much real data as you can.

Check out the eBook for some great Problem Solving and Decision Making processes.

Third Sigma International is a Brisbane based Executive Coaching and Corporate Training business. Liz Cassidy publishes the popular ‘Liz’s Hot Tips’ weekly updates to entrepreneurs, managers, executives and business owners. If you’re ready to create great results in your life and business, become an outstanding leader and fast track your career.

Posted in Leadership

Grieving to let go

April, 2011

Grieving to let go

We are going through times of dramatic change at present; A few months ago in Australia, all we were talking about and all that was in the media was the Global Economic Crisis.

Along came the North Queensland Floods and the scale of those captured us enough to break free of the economy as a focal point.

Then came the Victorian fires and we finally got some perspective back on what is truly important.

Some changes, like the seasons, are foreseeable. Some hit without warning, like a flood or firestorm or global breakdown.

Whichever, we can be left reeling; buffeted by events which are completely out of our control and swamped by emotions which also seem to be out of our control.

These changes can be as simple (!) as losing a job, more complex like a divorce, the death of an elderly relative or the sudden massive loss of loved ones and all we own.

The emotions we feel and process of coping with change is the same – no matter what the change is. The process of grieving for the loss of what was; accepting what is; and moving towards what will be, is the same process.

Managing the change or transition, letting go of where you are today to a new beginning in your life, is a process which can be massively alarming. It is helpful to understand the process you are going through, because such transitions are complex experiences.

So what happens and how do we cope?

Sometimes simply recognising the change is enough, at other times we seem to battle against a tide of emotion.

A job loss, for example, is an event. A loss of a loved one is an event. The total loss of a community is an event.

Your reaction to the external event of loss is the transition. This is an internal emotional process that has three phases – The Ending, The Exploration, and The New Beginning.

An old and battered graphic of the transition of emotions is shown on the link. This is created for those going through the process of job loss, however as I mentioned the change transition process is the same – no matter what the event.

The amount of time we spend in each stage is dependent on the external event and on how we respond as individuals. It could be seconds or years.

I write this thinking of the Victorian fires.

As a nation we have gone through the Denial, in my case it was an appalled “this cannot happen in Australia, we are too organised here, we deal with big disasters too well, this just cannot be real”.

The Denial was quickly followed by Shock, Confusion, slipping into Resignation where we could no longer deny the awfulness, and into real palpable Anger.

Right now, as a nation this Anger is a multi-headed demon; “Who can we blame?” “How did we let this happen?” “Whose fault is it?” are all anger based questions. These are now the subject of our headlines as we express anger towards anyone in the path of blame.

There is also a degree of Fear, that is can happen again, it will come back and some Frustration at the pace of response. Even though logically we know all is being done as fast as possible – the Frustration and impotence linger.

As a nation we are on a path of transition through the emotional upheavals following our largest ever national disaster.

As individuals we are also on a separate unique path moving through our own emotional journey. I mentioned this journey may be the result of the shock of the Victorian fires or it may be as a result of a recent job loss.

Each journey has its steps for you to tread at your own pace, and tread them you will.

The end point may be so far in the distance you cannot see it or conceive of ever getting there, but you will tread the path.

Mark where you are on the graphic and notice the journey you have come along already.

Notice that the scale looks like a roller coaster with the end point being a high!

For some, the first 2 stages are easy and happen quickly. For others, the journey is a far greater challenge.

You may choose to deal with your change as a victim, as a survivor or as a navigator, determined to learn and grow through the experience.

I noted in a telethon appeal after teh Victorian fires; one gentleman happily thanked the previous owners of the clothes he was wearing as these donated clothes were now his sole possessions. He said “I am not victim, I am a survivor”
What an attitude.

We are on a collective journey coping with the changes thrust on us by the Firestorms, the Floods and the fallout of the Global Economic Crises . It may take us a few years to get there, or we may speed through.

The one thing I do know is we will get there.

Note: I am unable to attribute the graphic to a source. It is not my original.

Posted in Leadership

Put your best person forward

April, 2011

Put your best person forward

The media keeps telling us that are we are in tough economic times; people are spending less and being much more choosey about where they spend their dollars.

And still I am surprised that businesses are putting the WRONG people into front counter and customer interaction positions.

A personal experience and one related to me by an associate underscore this.

I spent last weekend in a beautiful rainforest resort. A very special place. However, the resort does not have its own restaurant and recommends local establishments.

So we booked a table for early evening, at a rather nice restaurant. Set back from the road in acres of beautiful grounds, the furniture and décor was reminiscent of an English pub, it looked great.

Unfortunately our meals were disappointing, one was plain inedible. I gave feedback to the waitress specifically pointing out what the issues were, and got no response. (Perhaps you are familiar with this scenario).

At bill paying time, I asked the same waitress what the response from the kitchen was to my feedback. The explosion was reminiscent of Vesuvius. She was quite explicit as to the error of my eyesight and my problematic nature – correct that – she was VERY explicit, and stated that it was plainly obvious to her I was looking for a free meal! Basil Fawlty would have be struck silent with admiration.

The next day when we were calmer, no longer doing impressions of goldfishes with open mouths, and able to try to make sense of the scene from Fawlty Towers, my husband did his maths. Had the lady given us a free meal as she was determined she wasn’t going to do (say a child’s meal) it would have cost the restaurant $11 in revenue, say $6 in profit.

However she was so inept in her service that she didn’t charge us for our drinks. She cost the restaurant our repeat business plus that of everyone I have personally told since, plus the $50 in drinks we didn’t pay for.

Who in their right minds running a business today would choose to put someone like that in a customer contact position? Her people skills were lacking, her attitude was poor, and her maths was not up to scratch. She cost the business real dollars on the night and potential future dollars in one interaction.

At this point I put in a disclaimer. Yes, a discount of the food would have been a nice recognition of the problem, but a freely given apology would have been priceless to me!

Had she asked me what I needed to make it right – she would have found that out.

A colleague related a story of being refused lunch service at a local winery in a similar manner. We got to wondering if it could have been the same person.

Business leaders and owners today don’t have the luxury of letting just anyone serve customers, no matter how short staffed they are. The potential cost to the bottom line is too great to allow the wrong staff to be in a customer contact position.

If you are in the position where you are short of staff and feel stuck, then put some investment into training the staff you do have so they have at least the basic customer service – people skills.

That said, front office and front counter staff should always;

• have good attitudes;
• have a belief set that the customer is the most important person on the planet at that time;
• place a premium of giving total satisfaction and putting a smile on peoples faces.

We can all forgive ineptitude to a point, where the provider is likeable and has good intentions. Even then our patience wears thin.

Tough economic times require tough decisions.

More and more people are choosing to keep their money in their pockets. If you want to help them to part with their hard earned dollars in your business then you had better deliver the best possible service.

That means putting your best people forward.

Third Sigma International is a Brisbane based Executive Coaching business. Liz Cassidy publishes the popular ‘Liz’s Hot Tips’ weekly updates to; entrepreneurs, managers, executives and business owners. www.thirdsigma.com.au www.beknowdo.com.au

Posted in Leadership

Blind Focus

April, 2011

Blind Focus

Two incidents happened a few days ago within minutes of each other which had me ponder the power and the inherent blindness of focus on a single end point.

I received a personal email with a TED video attached and shortly this after I was reading a page from the book The Balance Within.

Let me explain;

The Balance Within is a fairly heavy read by Dr Ester Sternberg, a medical researcher, on how the brain and emotions affect the body’s immune function. I was struggling through her description of gushing hormones running through the glands of Fischer rats when a completely out of context paragraph struck me. She was describing her incredibly focussed work on rats (!) blindly unaware of complimentary work being undertaken in Austria by another researcher on Chickens (!!) After all if you are a rat person why would you be interested in chickens half way around the world and vice versa? She says…

“Such seemingly large holes in scientist’s collective knowledge have much to do with the blinders we are often forced to wear as a result of focussing so exclusively on one field. It happens in all fields”

It was the last sentence in particular which struck me – It happens in all fields.

This hugely intelligent medical researcher acknowledges the inherent limitation of her focussing on her subject. In her focus she was completely missing massive opportunities to get her to her end goal.

For any of you who read a lot of the “self help” genre, this will seem like a complete contradiction. This genre advocates complete focus on your goal.

Let me now introduce the TED video sent by my American cousin.

Click here for a stunning visual example of exactly the same principle, explained in an entirely different way. You may want to watch it twice!

Total focus on an end goal allows us to block out distractions; disturbances; and potential impediments – this is all good and useful and frees us to follow a straight and true path to our end goal. And it introduces perceptual blindness.

BUT what happens when the key, the da Vinci code to getting what we want is slightly off centre, and out of focus?

We focus, focus, focus, and miss it.

We try again and again and miss. The frustration of total focus on a single point means we miss the big picture; and also that we miss the opportunities (as well as the distractions) to get to our end goals quickly and easily.

Like a draft horse with its blinkers on blindly following the carrot on a stick; we don’t see the carrot field to one side of the road.

We miss colleagues, family and friends on the sidelines waving to us and offering the assistance we need. We miss the miracles of coincidence and the synergies of opportunity. We miss the books written by others in an entirely different field which point the way we need. We miss the Eureka of sitting in a bath and solving a scientific puzzle.

It isn’t that we don’t stop to smell the roses – we simply don’t see the rose garden.

Taking a wide angle view – seeing the big picture which holds our goals within – does not take our focus away from our goal. It actually frees us up to see the obvious (to everyone else) and to take hold of the opportunities presented.

Enjoy the big picture – Enjoy the view, and the journey.

Posted in Leadership

Facing Reality – Handling Disappointments

April, 2011

Facing Reality – Handling Disappointment

Like many people I have been relishing the feats and records at the Beijing Olympics this last week.

The results have been a Goal Setting 101 course on Focus, Action; Repetition, and Celebration.

However, I am more interested in seeing how the athletes have handled their disappointments; just missing a medal, having a disastrous on-the-day performance, injuries; or seemingly inexplicable losses.

The training and 4 years of mental and physical torture these athletes have put themselves through to get to the Olympics in the first instance can only be celebrated.

Just being there is a huge result.

For some though, the heavy burden of expectation of family, friends, their country and themselves have not been met. I have noted some commentators calling a silver medal a failure. (I also notice these commentators are not exactly sylph like and honed). Such a burden of carrying the expectation of others shows in the faces of the athlete who didn’t quite make the medal placing’s, or go beyond the heats, or maybe just missed out on the gold.

The range of reactions and responses has been vast. From the tears of the runner so overcome she couldn’t face the TV interviewer, through the absolute agony of disbelief and self flagellation of the weightlifter who couldn’t lift the bar; to the calm grace and self acceptance of the captain of the swimming team who missed out on a personal milestone by half an arms length.

Having the ability see “failure” on the day as a stepping stone to the next performance is not only an indicator of emotional maturity, it is essential to creating long term success. We are not our successes, we have success; we create success. It does not define us as people. Ask Michael Phelps’ mum who he is, she won’t talk about his medals, she will talk about the son she knows, as only a mother can.

Equally and even more importantly we are not our failures; we have failures; we stumble; and we are not failures as a result. Each stumble is an opportunity to reflect on what happened; what our contribution was; what we need to adjust; and where we can change to be more ready next time.

Listening to a smiling athlete being interviewed, out of breath from the effort and saying “I gave it all I had, I did my best, they were better on the day” is a joy.

To be able to celebrate what we have done, our efforts, our focus and our achievements is a precious gift to be treasured.

Off the field and out of the pool, back in our own lives we have successes, some big some small, some unnoticed and some celebrated.

Equally we have stumbles, failures, disastrous on-the-day performances and inexplicable upsets. How we handle each of these defines how we face the next hurdle or opportunity. Will we curl up fetal like in the corner hurting more from the self flagellation than from the events themselves or will we be gracious and self accepting? Will we retire in a fit of self loathing or will we acknowledge our limitations on the day and make a plan to change for the next event.

Our long term success depends on us self reflecting, learning and growing stronger. We build our recovery and growth muscles from the stumbles and the getting up not from the wins and successes.

I was humbled by the story of a colleague who shared a family tragedy with me a few weeks ago. His footnote was that without the hardship in his life he would not be the man he is today. I cannot agree or disagree – I don’t know. I can only appreciate his journey and reflect that in the moment of his deepest anguish no one could have told him who he would be as a result of his suffering. Besides being inappropriate in the extreme, this is not what any of us need to hear in the middle of the tough times.

We come through our failures stronger for the learning or weaker for the lack of self acceptance.

Each path is a choice, choose wisely.

Posted in Leadership

Sorry Doesn’t Always Make it Right

April, 2011

Sorry Doesn’t Always Make it Right..

..but it goes a long way

Recently Australia experienced a pivotal moment in its history. The newly sworn in Government apologised for the wrongs of the past inflicted on our indigenous people. It was symbolic clearing of the path to move forwards to bring a closer relationship between Indigenous and non indigenous people.

I found the ceremony moving, though it prompted me to wonder if saying Sorry is so profound and creates such major shifts; what is it that holds us back from saying “Sorry” more easily?

What is it that makes a well said “sorry” so impactful?

In business sorry is the oil that greases the wheel of service, calms the disappointed heart and heals the wounds of late delivery. Still it isn’t often heard in any effective manner.

Gary Chapman, author of “The Five Love Languages” suggests that each person has a different primary apology language. He says that if you don’t address your customer in his/her primary language they may consider your apology weak or insincere and will remain offended or irate.

He suggests five apology languages:

1. Experiencing regret – “I am sorry.”
2. Accepting responsibility – “I was wrong…”
3. Making restitution – “What can I do to make it right?”
4. Genuinely repenting – “I’ll try not to do that again.”
5. Requesting forgiveness – “Will you please forgive me?”

He gives the following example:

Two ladies came into a restaurant for dinner. The waitress accidentally spilled a soft drink on one of the ladies. She apologised (1) immediately and got paper towels and cleaned up the table. She invited the ladies to move to another table. The maitre de asked the ladies if everything was alright but they were not happy. He asked them what had actually happened and they explained that the waitress had spilled the drink on one of them and she was now stained and sticky. The maitre de apologized (1) and said he would be happy to pay the dry cleaning bill and they would not have to pay for the meal (3). He said, “We appreciate your business and we certainly don’t want this kind of thing to happen.” He also said he would send another waitress over but they were still unhappy.

According to Chapman, the maitre de had only spoken two of the apologies and apparently the unhappy lady spoke one of the other three.
He or the waitress did not accept responsibility – “I was wrong, it was my fault “; he didn’t give any sign of genuine repentance – no plan for seeing this didn’t happen in the future; he didn’t ask for forgiveness!

It is clear that Sorry is communicated at different levels to different people and an insipid sorry is often taken as an insult.

A colleague tells a story of hanging up on a service provider after being on the receiving end of spectacularly bad service; she could cope with the bad service, she couldn’t cope with the excuse when she asked for an apology.

At the other end of the scale I know of a company which has empowers its customers interfacing staff to ask “What can we do to make this right for you?” This question is music to the few customers with the apology language of making Restitution – and while it does not cost much in dollar terms it reaps huge returns in satisfied repeat business.

Often we get angry/disappointed over a perceived missed expectation in service delivery. In the case where procedures have been followed and service levels have been met, a simple apology using the 5 languages will go a long way to easing angst at zero cost to the business.

Coming back to question of what holds us back from saying sorry. My belief is that Sorrys are withheld because of fear of the cost to ourselves at a personal level (pride, ego, loss of face). For example think of the macho image outside the nightclub accidentally being knocked into by a passer by. A simple Sorry could save so many bruises.

There is also the fear of cost or loss in dollar terms at a business level. For example one company I know who didn’t give a full early apology using the five steps is now facing a court case. It is not certain, but a guess is that their customer would have been much more amiable to the five step apology 2 months ago with a real dollar restitution cost; and lawyer’s fees could have been saved.

Our insurance industry does not aid us to say Sorry. So many insurance polices are voided if we as much as admit responsibility for our actions. I rear ended a very nice Saab a few years ago. The fault was mine; there was no doubt in any way. I looked at the resigned face of the driver of the Saab, and choked. I couldn’t apologise to her as I would void my insurance policy and I knew the dollar cost of repairs would then be mine, not the insurance company.

Today I like to think she would receive a heartfelt apology with all five languages (and a request to help me with the insurance claim form!)

So if you get the opportunity to apologise for having disappointed someone on a personal or business level; try practicing using the 5 languages;

and, if you see me in your rear view mirror – don’t slam on the brakes on your car!

Liz Cassidy is a Brisbane based Transformational Executive Coach, Speaker, Author and Facilitator.

Posted in Leadership

Eight Steps for Managing Emotion in Others

April, 2011

Eight Steps for Managing Emotion in Others

Emotions run high, tension is up and everyone around is losing their cool.

What to do? The easy and short term choice is to join in and have a hissy fit as well.
The not so easy choice with an eye on the long term relationship is to begin to manage the emotions of the people you are dealing with.

This article is taken from our “Dealing with Dificult People” workshop & walks you through the steps to take to begin to manage other people’s emotions when you get caught in a Difficult Situation.

1. Stay calm

• Plan for the interaction if you can

Be confident and in control in the face of strong emotion – It’s not about you!

• Stay firm

2. Let them express the emotion

• Usually they just want to be heard
• Listen actively
• Encourage them to talk it through
• Don’t jump in and try to “fix” it for them. Let them talk

3. Show empathy (not sympathy)

• Let them know you will support and assist them – not that you feel sorry for them
• Don’t say you understand- if you have not experienced what they are going through – YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND
• Support them with empathy sentences like “That’s got to be tough.”

4. State your assumption about the emotion you observe

• “I can see this has really cheesed you off”
• “If that was me I would be pretty upset by that”

5. Ask what their next steps are

• Put them in problem solving mode
• What would you like to have happen? What needs to happen to assist you?

6. Give suggestions if appropriate

• Only do this if you see it is appropriate or necessary
• Make sure you have permission to give the suggestion
• Offer them as suggestions only, not as a solution
• Speak from your experience only if you have it; “Just as a suggestion, in a situation like this I find that…

7. Ask what you can do to assist them

• Don’t ask if you can help but what you can do to help
• “What assistance do you need from me?”

8. Set a check in time where appropriate

Posted in Leadership

The 5 Principles of Great Dialogue

April, 2011

The 5 Principles of Great Dialogue

I have long been an observer of people, and whenever I get the opportunity I also eavesdrop on their conversations. So if you see me hanging out in a coffee shop at the table next to you, be prepared for me to listen in!

One of the things I love to listen to, is how people just don’t listen to each other.
They talk at, over and around each other but miss the deep in-the-moment opportunities which cement and advance relationships.

I have noticed also when I am facilitating groups that when one person speaks and adds great value to a subject often the person who could have gained most from the information cuts through and completely misses what was being said. And in that moment, misses a huge opportunity to learn and grow.

Recently much has been written about conversations and conversational technology, covering off Fierce Conversations and Crucial Conversations to boot.

However sometimes we miss the basics in advancing conversation. The basics that are needed for respectful dialogue. I am covering off on the Principles of Great Dialogue here. I feel we need to get these right before and as part of any deeper Conversation which follows.

Principle 1

Listen. This seems so obvious and simple and is the hardest thing we do. When you are being spoken to; listen with your ears, your eyes and your intuition.

What are the words being said? What are the words not being said? When does the other person hesitate? When does their tone of voice change? What are they wanting to communicate to you and struggling with?

I had a conversation with a coaching client who briefly diverged onto another topic. Her face lit up as she spoke on the new topic, her skin seemed lighter, and her eyes sparkled. Then she came back to the original subject, her voice tone and energy dropped, her skin went dull and her eyes seemed bleak and resigned. In listening to her, I heard something more than the words – I heard her call for help. I was able to remark on the changes I saw and ask what was going on. Our conversation then shifted to what she really needed and to a solution, simply because I was listening deeply to her.

When you listen, are you looking at the person? Are you seeing the whole or simply the parts? What are they saying to you beyond the words?
Practice deep listening; see what a difference it makes to your conversation.

Principle 2

Don’t interrupt. Again so simple and so obvious. We have all seen the couple who finish each other’s sentences because they are in tune. This is Not what I am talking about.

Sometimes I hear people interrupt another’s sentence simply because the words sparked another thought which was so front-of-mind it just had to be spoken out loud. When we are truly listening to another person, we are showing so much interest in them that we only hear what they have to say, not the clamouring of our own over-heated egos. We don’t interrupt.

Next time you are in a conversation and listening to someone, practise putting the tip of your tongue to the top of your mouth just where your front teeth meet the upper gum. Now hold your tongue there as if you are holding a crumb of bread in position until the other person has stopped talking. You won’t be able to interrupt. And in making sure your tongue is still, you will also quieten down the inner voice that is competing with the other person to be heard. Try it and let me know the difference it makes to your conversations.

Principle 3

Use AND instead of BUT. In our workshops we have a NO BUTS agreement. We even put the NO BUTS logo on the wall. When we are Butting on another person we immediately tell them that their opinion, thoughts and comments are not worthy of consideration. By default, the underlying message is that if their input has no value, then neither do they. Powerful stuff from one little word. Consider how you felt the last time you were Butted on, it wasn’t pretty was it?

So instead of BUTting on someone, now practice ANDing on them instead.
For example;
“I hear what you are saying, AND if I were to add my thoughts to yours, my perspective is……”
“You have an interesting point to make there, AND my views on it are……”

By using AND you use more words; respectful words; thoughtful words; words that defuse instead of escalating; words that add and honour the other person’s point of view; (which might just be more valid than yours, or mine).

Practice ANDing on your colleagues, partners and family, see what a difference it makes to the response you get.

When you have practiced it out loud a little – try saying it to yourself for your own self talk as well. Now see what a difference it makes to you!

Principle 4

Build on what has already been said. This is similar to ANDing. When we build on what has already been said by the other person, we add richness to the conversation. It takes on a texture and tone which is missing when we simply change the subject because we have run out of things to say.

There is only so much you can say about a reality TV show, sports event etc.

However when you add to the conversation, you change its focus from the event being discussed to the deeper meaning.

For example.
Last week we had a soupbowl of swimming on television as athletes competed for places on the Australian Beijing Olympics Swim Team.

Conversations in the workplace and coffee shops (remember I was listening in) were about who was breaking records; the style and make of the swim suits; who is dating who and will it matter; how much money will the athletes make from sponsorships etc etc. Very superficial. Adding depth would have sounded like;

“Did you see Sullivan break that 100m record, he could beat Phelps this year”
To add depth
“Yes, I really admire the way these kids commit so much time, energy and focus on achieving when they know only 2 people in the whole country will make the team. I wonder how things would be different here if we committed the same (or a fraction) of that focus to what we do, What do you think would be different……? “

Before you ask – no I did not overhear one conversation where some one “added depth” from a sporting event starting point. What missed opportunities!

Practice adding depth; find out what is behind the comment made. What is sparking emotion in the other person when they comment on a TV show, or external event? What is happening for them? How you can develop a real conversation by adding depth? Go ahead – find out for yourself.

Principle 5

Seek Clarity. A few days ago I was talking to my kids and an inadvertent version of Chinese whispers took place. Two of us were discussing a topic, the third came in late and misheard what we were discussing and added comments which seemed absurd – to us. It got so mixed up that all 3 of us got the giggles.

When we had calmed down my little boy realised that he had sparked the giggles and got his male ego dented (hindsight ego denting is interesting to watch). Eventually he asked “What…”

We went through the confusion, the emotion and the outrage to get to the Clarity.

Wouldn’t it have been so much quicker if we had stopped him on his first comments and asked him what he meant or what he thought we were talking about? (Yes much easier, but not as much fun)

So often I overhear conversations just like this example, where people talk at cross purposes and instead of stopping and asking “What did you mean by that…” in a respectful way, they keep going and exacerbate confusion. This is also an early cause of some conflicts.

So next time you feel like you have stepped in to the conversational twilight zone, stop and respectfully ask “What are you talking about…..” to get you real clarity in your conversation.

Liz Cassidy is a Brisbane based Transformational Executive Coach, Speaker, Author and Facilitator.

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Third Sigma International is a Brisbane based Executive Coaching & Corporate Development provider.

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Posted in Leadership

Building Emotional Intelligence Builds Leaders

April, 2011

Building Emotional Intelligence Builds Leaders

In the mid 1990’s Daniel Goleman took the business world by storm claiming the Emotional Intelligence could impact on success more than IQ. (Or that was the populist interpretation).

However the reality is that in business given a level playing field when two professionals have similar levels of IQ, similar levels of experience and similar personalities – and then the role of emotional intelligence may start to play a part in differentiating levels of success.

There are various models of Emotional lntelligence and ideas on what emotional Intelligence is. The model I will refer to and use here is that developed by Mayer and Salovey.

The Mayer Salovey Model is based on the individuals ability to problem solve with and about emotion.

The emotionally intelligent leader leverages the four skills in the model by:

1. Identifying emotions in himself and others
2. Using these emotions to guide the thinking and reasoning of the people involved
3. Understanding how feelings/emotions might change and develop as events unfold
4. Managing to stay open to the data of feelings/emotions and integrating this data into decisions and actions for longer term effective results in relationships.

This does not make an Emotionally Intelligent Leader soft or touchy feely; rather he combines emotions with intelligence.

The ability to problem solve given a level IQ playing field is a key requirement of success in business today. Leaders who are less emotionally intelligent may find themselves making decisions at a less than optimum level. Key data may be left out of decision making.

Imagine if you will; going into a negotiation with an opponent who is fearful and you do not have sufficient Emotional Intelligence to Recognise the signs of his nervousness. (Skill 1).

This negotiation would proceed in a far different way than if you were able to identify his nerves; then ask key questions to get to the cause.

Alternatively imagine the scenario where you need to give praise to a high achieving staff member, who shuns the limelight. Highly developed Understanding of emotions and Managing emotions skills would lead you to ensure that any recognition would be appropriate the person and would be private. (Skills 3 & 4).

Public or inappropriate recognition may actually de-motivate the staff member and create the exact opposite result from that which you wanted in the first instance.

The good news is that Emotional Intelligence can be developed quite easily, with effort, once you decide to actually make a change.

The MSCEIT online tool assesses your ability to problem solve with and about emotion. This may be a useful starting point for you to begin developing your emotional intelligence. Reading, workshops, coaching & practice all assist to develop your EI.

Contact us today on 1300 766 092 to begin developing your Emotional Intelligence and the EI of your Leadership team.

Posted in Leadership

Leading or Managing – Knowing The Difference Is What Makes The Difference.

April, 2011

Leading or Managing – Knowing The Difference Is What Makes The Difference.

Business leaders today at all levels in organisations are facing more stresses and tasks than at any time in the past. Even though we also have more tools at our disposal to manage these tasks we are also bombarded with more information and data to process than ever before. In this environment it is all too easy for leaders to make mistakes and in most instances staff are patient and forgiving of these honest slips.

However, there is one area where staff are not willing to compromise. This is the area of management versus leadership. It is too easy to forget that there are times to lead and times to manage, and it is too easy to slip into management mode when under stress.

If you or your team are experiencing “people issues” look for this rule of thumb:

Manage the processes and the procedures, but, Lead, guide & teach the people.

If there are problems, check if your leadership team is confusing managing with leading.

It really is that simple – not that easy – but certainly that simple.

A truly effective leader has a genuine concern for the success of those he leads, treating all staff members as individuals, giving credit, and ensuring that he is making his people look good.

A great leader keeps the objective out in front as a vision, as simple as possible. He is always promoting understanding, always acting as a role model, living the organisations values, walking his talk. He gets out of the way of his people so that they can get on with their work, and achieve their goals

An effective leader will make the difference between success and failure in an organisation. Great processes and systems will support leadership, but are never a substitute.

Liz Cassidy, founder of Third Sigma International is an author, Speaker, Trainer and Executive Coach dedicated to facilitating results in the businesses, professional and personal lives of her clients. For more information https://www.thirdsigma.com.au

Posted in Leadership

Setting SMART Goals

April, 2011

Setting SMART Goals

Achieve more this Financial Year

The end of the financial year is rapidly approaching and many of our Australian subscribers are racing towards the finish line to achieve year end goals, budgets and targets. Next years budgets are already set and with July 1st comes a blank revenue sheet. For many of our readers this may bring a sigh of relief, while for others there is only the stress and worry of starting all over again.

Breaking the full year goals down into bite sized quarterly chunks creates a sense of control and paves a path to success for next June 30th.

SMART goals are those which we are very clear about and focused on. They are few in number to ensure focus is sharp.

You need to define that end point or have it defined for you. So, as Covey says “begin with the end in mind”. The end point can be more easily defined when we use SMART as an acronym.

• Specifically stated – Stated positively in present tense. Eg the safety management system is fully operational and audit/ training activities are in place,
• Measurable – What will I see, hear, smell, taste, feel and touch upon completion. Eg The first safety management audit report is available and distributed amongst the management team.
• Achievable – Can I achieve it by myself, what input do I need from others? Eg The management team needs to support this goal and the CEO needs to agree a proposal from me for extra funding.
• Resources – What resources do I need? Eg Three Internal auditors have been trained and a budget of $40,000 is available to support ongoing training and auditing.
• Time based and Towards – When precisely will this outcome happen? Eg 30th June 2007 all safety management systems are in place.

“Getting a bonus/pay rise this year” is not a SMART goal, how much? what percentage? when? what resources are required? what do I need to do to get it?

Keeping the vague wooliness out of our goals is the key to creating personal and business success in this financial year.
Whilst it’s possible to hit an invisible target, it is much easier to plan and to hit a visible one.

So get defining, get specific and get successful.

Third Sigma International offers in house goal achievement workshops which facilitates you and your team to crystalise your business goals into clear work priorities.
Our Executive & Performance Coaching help you achieve your individual goals.

Call us on 1300 766 092 and get your business SMART in 06/07.

Posted in Leadership

Going Beyond Motivation

April, 2011

Beyond Motivation..

It seems that just as we shifted paradigms in the eighties, we worked synergistically in the nineties; now we are passionate in the naughties. Even my local petrol station has passion brochures at the pump! So what are we passionate for ………?

Last October I got some unasked for, but expert, advice from an extreme extrovert to “be more passionate“. After I had calmed down, I took a long hard look at what I was doing, seriously questioned my passion level and did lots of research into Passion. This was after all, expert advice.

My research took me through a motley assortment of superficial pop psychology and self help books, all with Passion in the title and each more inane than the last. Finally I stumbled across a book by Sydney author Peter Wallman, The Wisdom of Passion. He appeared to get to the real core of what Passion is, and after meeting with him I was convinced that he had identified a simple but powerful process for identifying and capturing our core passions. I loved the simplicity of the process and the clarity it brought to me and my business. Now I assist others to identify what it is that gets their juices flowing….

Along the journey of research, self analysis and questioning of my clients and others who have Passion Mapped; I have identified some keys to passion.

• Passion is very personal and unique to the individual.
• Most of our strongest passions are kept internalised and rarely expressed outwardly.
• The most powerful passions are not material (or sport).
• Connecting strongly with our passions creates a magnetic effect – We attract people and opportunities.
• Eliciting deep passions requires skill, we have learned well from the school of hard knocks to keep this side of ourselves hidden.
• When we express our passion, our voices change, our eyes sparkle, and our physical demeanor shifts.
• Passion is contagious – be very careful.
• Passion comes before motivation and way before action.
• Passion makes a difference!

I share my story of being told to “be more passionate” with colleagues and clients and generally get snorts of bemusement. As an introvert, I am not given to bounding into a room, leaping in the air, giving great shouts, or jumping up and down on a sofa – Oprah’s or anyone else’s. So how do I express Passion? Tell me after you talk to me!!!

Passion is not something you have more (or less) of. Passion is inherent and intrinsic.

Last week I had the opportunity to coach 10 leaders and staff members of a niche organisation during three intense days.
Each of these individuals has a determination and a spark in their eyes, a tone of voice and a body posture which unmistakably conveys the depth of their passion about the work they do. Unsurprisingly, the organisations’ Director is passionately leading from the front – a true visionary leader. I felt honoured and very humbled to be coaching this particular team. Their common focus and harnessed energy, steered by their Director, is making a huge difference to their client base. Truly a high impact and passion based organisation.

One of our tasks as leaders is to uncover and unleash the hidden power of Passion in our employees, to harness and direct this passion towards a common shared goal. Just imagine, if you will, for a moment what your team could achieve this year if they were as passionately involved and focused as the organisation I mentioned earlier.

Kofi Annan said “To live is to choose. But to choose, you must know who you are and what you stand for, where you want to go, and why you want to get there….”
In business our Mission and Values statements spell out who we are and what we stand for; Our Vision statement gives where we want to go; and our Strategy gives us the how. But the why is missing.

Passion is the why!!

Third Sigma International can help you to identify your passions – your why, and unleash the passions in your team. Call us on 1300 766 092 to discuss the how.

Posted in Leadership

Are you Developing Leaders or Followers

April, 2011

Are you Developing Leaders or Followers

The importance of preparing leaders for succession has emerged as one of the significant concerns for today’s leaders. In the book “The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership” John C Maxwell points out that becoming a leader who develops leaders requires an entirely different focus and attitude from those leaders who develop followers.

Some of the differences are:

Leaders Who Develop Followers
Need to be needed
Focus on the weakness
Develop the bottom 20%
Treat their people the same for fairness
Hoard power
Spend time with others
Grow by addition
Impact on people they touch

whilst

Leaders Who Develop Leaders
Want to be succeeded
Focus on the strengths
Develop the top 20%
Treat their leaders as individuals for impact
Give power away
Invest time in others
Grow by multiplication
Impact people far beyond their own reach

Jim Collins found in his book Good to Great, mentioned previously, that Level 5 Leaders are those most likely to take an organisation to perform at the great level. Level 5 leaders are generally home grown and far outperform superstar import leaders.

It may be time to look at the way you are leading. Are you setting your organisation up for future greatness or future mediocrity? Are you a Level 5 Leader growing future Level 5 leaders or are you growing followers?

Lyn Traill and Liz Cassidy

Posted in Leadership

Getting Passionate Gets Results

April, 2011

Getting Passionate Gets Results

Passion and the Bottom Line..Getting Passionate Gets Results

Last month in eNews we covered going beyond motivation and being Passionate.
This obviously struck a chord for many of our subscribers, with one client reminding me of the financial and bottom line impact of having a Passionate Executive Team as uncovered in the book Good to Great by Jim Collins.

In summary Collins and his team undertook a 4 year research project on the differences between the Greatest financial performers in the US Fortune 500 companies and the “good” performers. The definition of “great” ignored all social, moral and value judgments and stayed within a narrowly defined bracket of outstanding bottom line returns to shareholders.

Only 11 companies fulfilled his narrow criteria. These 11 outperformed the market by a factor of 6.9 over a 15 year period. These are companies with a performance worth modeling.
Focusing on the differences that make the difference, he distilled out the essential keys to financial greatness for these 11 companies.

One of the key differences between the companies who out performed the market by a factor of 6.9 and those who delivered good (not average) returns was that the great companies all had a Passionate Executive Team. Interestingly this criteria came before skilled people, strategy, planning, tactics, budgets, technology, product and performance – the good companies had all of these.
Amongst other things, the Great companies had the right people and they were passionate about what they do.

Passionate Executive Teams were one of the indicators Collins found for long term financial success. These were teams who were living their personal passions and applying these to their businesses. These Executives were not concerned with badges, labels or the corner office.

Our business world moves so fast that we can get caught up in the busyness of the tasks and forget (or lose sight) of what our passions really are. Tuning into our core passions and applying these at work is a personal and financial win -win. As individuals we win because we get to live what we are passionate about and the organisation wins – with a direct impact on the bottom line.

As we mentioned last month, some people may need help uncovering their real core passions…Find out what makes you passionate and score some bottom line goals at the same time. Ask us about getting your Senior Team’s Passions Mapped.

Call us on 1300 766 092 to discuss the how and unleash the passions in your team.

Posted in Leadership

Reclaim Your Locus of Control to Get the Results You Want

April, 2011

Reclaim Your Locus of Control to Get the Results You Want

We cover the topic of Locus of Control in our Leadership programs, so it is 2nd nature for me to take full ownership for whatever outcomes I am creating in my life. After all why teach it if I am not living it?

The past few weeks have seen some events seemingly “happen to me” which rocked my belief in my own control over the results I get. Before I get on with that part of the story a short discussion on what exactly is Locus of Control and how can we use it…

Julian Potter, a psychologist, developed the theory of Locus of Control in the 1950’s. Simply put: people with an internal Locus of Control tend to see themselves as being responsible for the outcomes of their actions and hence are responsible for their destiny. Whereas, at the other end of the continuum, people with an external Locus of Control see environmental factors (or luck) as being more responsible for the outcomes in their lives and for their ultimate destiny. (Where would the Lotteries be in a world full of people with an internal Locus of Control?)

The theory was provided with a basis in research, and became enshrined in modern psychology following the research by Martin Seligman in 1965 leading to the Learned Helplessness model.

Back in the days when animals were the subject of Lab experiments, Seligman and his team found that research subjects (dogs) behaviour changed dramatically and unexpectedly when subjected to random feedback (pain). Some of the dogs learned to become helpless when their behaviours made no difference to the feedback they got – and they gave up!

The outcomes of this research and its ramifications changed the face of psychology, and showed that the Locus of Control is largely learned, and importantly can be re-learned.

That’s the end of the history and psychology lesson. What does this have to do with your leadership, your career and my recent series of unfortunate events? Plenty in fact…..

Given that I generally sit at the internal Locus of Control end of the continuum, (as do many people who run their own businesses) having external happenings dare to impact on my results came as an unpleasant shock.

The events seemed random, and my actions did not appear to make a difference to the results.

Sound familiar? Some of you reading this are saying “Welcome to my world, Liz”

Looking at Seligman’s research – I would be a classic case for Learned Helplessness, had things continued unabated. I confess to retreating into my shell for a short period “turtle like”, and peeping out only to see if the storm had passed.

However, I know enough about the human mind and it’s workings to know that when an unhelpful pattern is settling in, then creating a break in the cycle can cause huge differences in attitudes, beliefs, behaviours and outcomes. Again, so what?

Separately, I had another pattern of lack of exercise in my life which has recently been affecting both my weight and shape. To break this cycle, I recently started weight-training with a multiple times Australian Body Building and Weightlifting champion Damon Hayhow.

If you are going to break a cycle – break it in a big way.

In the midst of retreating into my shell, I had a weights training session. During this particularly brutal session, where I freely admit to having a lousy attitude, I stood looking at a deadlift bar, the weights on either end being beyond my previous experience or ability. I focussed completely on lifting the bar, visioned myself lifting it, felt the pain of it and had total certainty that I was going to lift it. (The rather loud positive reinforcement in my right ear helped too).

I stepped forward and did a set of repetitions which I could not have attempted the week before. The only change was my mental approach – I was in total mental control and felt hugely elated and powerful as a person immediately afterwards. The actual weight on the bar was irrelevant (and frankly insignificant too) – what was important was the fact that I did it. I had taken my Locus of Control back internally and achieved what I set out to. Sharing my “discovery” with Damon that this Weight Training sport is not about muscles, it is about mental attitude, he agreed. When people come into the Gym with the attitude that they cannot lift the weights – they don’t!

Facing a difficult situation, when you take mental control back, you immediately make a difference to the outcome.

Needless to say, having taken mental control back through breaking this cycle the next period has seen me in a different frame of mind. Action and outcome focussed with startlingly different – though not surprising – results, in the gymn as well as all other areas.

Knowing about LoC theory and living it so dramatically in 2 different areas of my life at the same time has been a powerful experience for me.

Use a shift in one area of your life to create and apply changes in another.

This was my recent journey of inadvertently exploring the Locus of Control in a particular set of events. How can you use it and apply it?

The first step is to find out where your personal Locus of Control is – try this online test.

It’s important to note that internal vs. external is not good vs. bad. Each is useful in different ways at different times. What is important is to look at how your Locus of Control is serving you. Are you getting the results you want – or not?

If you are indeed getting the results you want then this article has been simply an interesting diversion. Read it and pass it on.

However, if you are not getting the results you want in your; life, career, business, relationship, team environment or health then re-evaluate where your Locus of Control is and if this is a factor affecting your results in an unhelpful way – it may be time for you to do some major cycle breaking!

Posted in Leadership

Putting Values into Action

April, 2011

Putting Values into Action

Increasingly our work with our key clients is shining a spotlight on the importance of knowing our Values in lives work and careers.

So what are values? Where do they come from and how do they impact on behaviours and results?

First of all, our values exist at a subconscious level, so we often don’t even realise we have a certain value until asked directly about it or until an event or behaviour challenges a core value.

For example I have a core personal value around honesty and integrity… Some years ago I worked in a junior management position for a national company. I became increasingly stressed, to the extent that at one point I was physically ill. Eventually I resigned. A number of years later when exposed to the concept of core values I reviewed my stressed experience and realised that my immediate manager had a completely different value set to me. He demonstrated these values through his behaviours. (My relative youth, ambition and aggressive certainty and belief in black and white probably exacerbated his behaviours.)

Each time I feel “stressed”, and I examine the events in my life with my coach, to date every time there has been a challenge to my values.
So core values are unconscious, but powerful enough to causse illness, stress and resignation. I have since discovered through coaching others and through my research that my reactions and responses to having my values trampled on were entirely normal.

Values generally come from lessons learnt and examples provided at an early age from key role models and influencers. We unconsciously model ourselves on those who had the strongest influence. I note that many of the values I live and espouse as an adult were those I gained from my father.

Because values are a part of our deep structure and remain unconscious, they impact on our behaviours in ways that are not always easily or logically explained. Eg Illness and stress.

Countries have gone to war for their values. Couples have divorced, and Business partnerships have split.

When you are feeling “stressed” it may be useful to have a values centred reflection on the current events in your life.

So how to uncover values? Often when we simply ask someone directly to list their values they will give fairly predictable middle of the road answers.

However, when we really listen to what others are saying including what they don’t stay, we can ask pointed values based questions…
Another way is the to listen to the throwaway “unconscious” comments and “unconscious” behaviours demonstrated by others, their values are easy to identify.

Unfortunately this can be a much slower process.

For example a person who drives without a valid drivers licence is unlike to have a value around honesty or integrity. Similarly a staff member who helps himself to the company’s property in small way eg stationery, will likely carry the same honesty and trust value to larger and more valuable situations

Organisational values are built over time and are generally developed and communicated in a top down approach.

The deep unconscious nature of personal values is such that we are unlikely to discover them during a recruitment interview. So new staff may not have personal values which support or are aligned with the organisation’s. This can (and does) lead to behaviour and morale issues especially when new staff are in management /leadership positions.

One organisation which has a high value of respect for others, suffered a localised bullying and harassment issue when inductions stopped being run by Head Office.
Interventions then focus both on behaviours and also on the core values being espoused.

So far I have covered situation when values have been challenged. On the positive side, often when we bring values to the surface; situations, past behaviours and choices become clear and decision making becomes simple (but not easy).
Eg a man being encouraged by his friends to end a relationship because his partner “did not fit in” reviewed his core values and committed to a loving relationship with his special lady – he doesn’t see much of his friends any more.

Knowing your core values gives you immense freedom of choice. You are no longer bound by unknown stressors. Living your values creates a sense of ease in decision making.

At an organisation level – when the organisations values are espoused during the recruitment stage, candidates can decide to opt out (or in). The self selection process then makes aligning staff and organisational values much simpler. When values are promoted during inductions and the leadership behaviour clearly demonstrates walking the talk, the problems I have previously described are rare. (Always supposing that ethics, integrity, and respect for others are including in the organisations values)

TSI coaches can assist you at an individual level to go through the process of eliciting your values and facilitate you to make key decisions based on these. This simple – but in depth – process takes a few hours of private one-one coaching time. Please contact us for assistance in this area if you feel your values are being challenged.

At an organisational level TSI facilitates leadership workshops both to elicit values and to define exactly what the current values mean in behavioural terms. This allows your leadership team to effectively demonstrate the organisations values.

Call us on 1300 766 092 to explore and clarify your personal and organisational values.

Do you want to work on your values privately? Download the Living Your Valeus Centred Life here. Download NOW.

Posted in Leadership

Splitting Values and Hypocrisy?

April, 2011

Splitting Values and Hypocrisy?

An interesting thing about values is that not all values are equal, some are more important to us than others… (more on this in the next eNews)

Values by their very nature, and definition, are subjective. However the criteria by which we measure our values are based on observable behaviours, i.e. we measure subjective values based on observable facts!

Indeed two people with the same stated value may have wildly different criteria for measuring when this value has been met, or violated. So in any given situation the two people with the same may react completely differently. Thus two people may get different results with the same “core values”. Confused?

For example…One presenter with a strong value of respect may be overjoyed when an audience sits quietly and attentively listening to his presentation. Another presenter with the same respect value may expect his audience to show their respect to him by asking challenging questions and being involved in his presentation. He would therefore feel insulted by a quiet attentive audience and may feel despondent after presenting to such a group.

As well as different importance of values there are also different types of values. It is this difference in types of values which leads to accusations of hypocrisy.
When we speak of our core values we often use phrases like “our core values are….”

However core values are demonstrated EXTERNALLY to the world as Strategic values and INTERNALLY to the self or organisation as Process vsplit valuesalues. Again an example will demonstrate….

An organisation with a core value of “pride in working here” might have an externally expressed value of “customer satisfaction” or “Always Professional”or “Delivering Quality”. The same “pride in working here” core value might be expressed and demonstrated internally as “we respect our people” or “integrity first”.

Conflicts and confusion arise when our externally stated values do not align with our internal demonstration. From the example above it may be that the organisation treats its customers with respect but does not give respect to employees.

It can thus be more useful to measure our values by our demonstrated actions rather than the words we use! The old adage “what you do speaks so loudly I cannot hear what you say” stands true with our values.

This principle of core, external strategic and internal process values applies equally to individuals as it does to organisations.

As individuals when we demonstrate our external values and internal values differently i.e. we treat others differently to the way we apply the values to ourselves, we are acting in a way which looks like we have double standards i.e. hypocritically! Think of Victorian England.

In a leadership context this inevitably leads to frustration amongst peers and staff. To be fully congruent and generate respect from others (and keep our self respect self) then both external and internal demonstrations of values need to have the same importance and emphasis – since both are expressions of the same core value.

To assist you to identify your core values and to be fully congruent in expressing and demonstrating them contact us Third Sigma International on 1300 766 092.

Want to work on your values privately? Download the Living Your Values Centred Life here. Download NOW.

Posted in Leadership

Does Executive Coaching Work?

April, 2011

Does Executive Coaching Work?

Download the PDF

Posted in Leadership

PACE Your Way to Giving Effective Feedback

April, 2011

PACE Your Way to Giving Effective Feedback

When we run leadership or advanced communications workshops for our corporate clients we are repeatedly asked how to give effective performance feedback to staff.

Our participants tell us that the majority of their difficulties seem to stem from not wanting to offend the receiver of the feedback, with a strong dose of political correctness thrown in to confuse them even more.

Honest sincere, well timed and well delivered feedback can be one of the most useful leadership tools in our kit bag – So what makes it so difficult to do?

In this article we look at feedback in terms of correcting behaviours. However the same steps apply when reinforcing great behaviours as well.

Effective leaders take time to get to know their staff so they know the language which will be most impactful for each individual. (If you don’t know what this means contact us separately). However a rule of thumb for new leaders is to give feedback as soon as possible after a significant event.

We use the Acronym PACE to remind us of the steps to effective feedback.

Prepare for the feedback – fools rush in but wise leaders prepare.
What is your Intention in giving the feedback? To praise, to reinforce or to correct a behaviour?
How do you want the receiver to FEEL afterwards – Devastated? Encouraged? Chastened? Proud? Hopeful?
What is the best environment to give the feedback without other s overhearing? What facts do you have?
What organisation values are you reinforcing?
What are the precise circumstances?
What is the behaviour in question?
Are you coming from a position of personal opinion or evidence based behaviours?
Can you describe what is appropriate vs. in-appropriate?
Clearly identify primary and secondary issues, get as much information as possible and, if needed, canvas others to get clarity and a different perspective on what is going on.

Advocate – Tell the receiver of the feedback what was observed, or what your data position is. Keep strictly to the issues at hand without personal bias or opinion. Be clear and careful to keep only to observed behaviours or data. Opinions have no place here.

Conclude – Give the receiver your preliminary conclusion based on the data and facts.

Enquire – Ask for clarification on your observations / conclusions and invite a response, keeping clearly and squarely to the issue.

At this point you will have let the staff member know where you (the organisations leadership representative) stand in respect to their behaviour and you have opened the door to invite their input to provide more data, and a different viewpoint.

Whilst many leaders get to this stage easily the focus is now to keep to the issues at hand and to keep the staff member in a receptive frame of mind. Defensiveness can creep (rush) in at this point.

Where the feedback is of the “behaviour correcting” type, then it is crucial to stay detached from the staff member’s emotions.

An example.
You ordered a piece of software from the internal IT Support person, John, and it has turned up late.
Your interview with John may go along the lines of -:

Prepare – You invite John to your office. You turn off your mobile, close the door and take the internal phone off the hook – you won’t be disturbed. (John just got the message that you are about to have a serious conversation.)

Advocate
“John I ordered an upgrade from you on Monday, you promised it to me on Wednesday, and we are now 7 days behind schedule without you letting me know what is going on”

Conclude
“This leads me to believe that you are not on top of what is happening in your area and that your feedback to internal clients is lacking”

Enquire
“John, Can you shed some light on what is going on with the software delivery and also how you approached your internal management and communication of this situation?”

In this example there are two issues; 1. The software is late and 2. John’s internal client service is below expectations.

The feedback covers both of these issues and John is aware that he is expected to keep his clients up to date with what is happening.

The response from John can take this conversation in many directions. The supplier may have delayed. There could be a postage strike etc etc. He may not be experienced in client service so he may not be aware he had to keep you up to date. He may be totally in ignorance of your expectations – in this case the mature leader will look at how he/she sets expectations with staff – this is valuable feedback from John!

This approach allows John to have a mature conversation with his manager around the performance expectations of his role.

The next step is to set ongoing actions and expectations – we will cover this in our next eNews.

As with any new tool or skill the best way to learn is to practice. Go ahead and let us know how you got on.

Posted in Leadership

The Importance Of Prioritising Values

April, 2011

The Importance Of Prioritising Values

Last eNews we discussed Values conflict in terms of external and internal values and how this may lead to “hypocritical” behaviours.

In this article we look at conflicting priorities in our values.

Because you hold many values, at times some of them will be in conflict with others.

For example, let’s say that as a leader you identify a new technology that can increase your department’s productivity, but it will also lead to some layoffs.
In your decision process, you are likely to weigh such values as productivity and profitability against say, loyalty, security, and respect for employees’ family needs.

Another example – As a parent you take your kids to a theme park to have some family time and fun. Both are high on your personal family values list. The kids want to go on the Death Drop!
You rediscover that you have a high priority value around their safety which is now to be weighed up against your fun value.

These kinds of conflict cannot be avoided. You can also see from these two examples that values are very environmentally specific.

It is important to achieve a greater understanding of your values priorities in each of the key areas of your life, so that you are better able to resolve the inevitable conflicts when and as they arise.

Third Sigma International can assist you to achieve clarity in your values and in your priorities through a private coaching session.

Contact us on 1300 766 092 or email Liz direct on liz@thirdsigma.com.au to organise a coaching session with one of our team.

Alternatively if you are unable to reach us on the phone or cannot come into our office, the Living Your Values Centered Life ebook will take you on the journey of identifying and clarifying your values. Download it here.

Posted in Leadership